Friday, December 31, 2010

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

I usually don’t blog about what goes on at work. But I am making an exception because Thursday was bone crushing draining day. And I know you all will thoroughly enjoy this.

Because it involves me and totes of milk, so hold on tight.

The day started out decently, but I should have known when truck was forty minutes late that a disaster was looming in the horizon.

Then my truck partner told me there were one hundred and two totes of milk.

Yes, 102. I didn’t stutter.

Let me explain the process of how we get all this milk into the cooler. First, all the milk remaining in the cooler is pulled forward so all the new milk comes in it can be put behind the old milk. The truck driver sends the milk down off the truck and my truck partner stacks it five totes high. This is where I come in.

I am supposed to use a dolly to move the totes to the cooler.

Now, this would be fine and dandy if I was a six foot man who weighted at least a hundred and fifty pounds. But I am not.

I am five foot six woman who weighs roughly a hundred and twenty five pounds, give or take some inches or pounds.

Oh yeah, each tote has four gallons of milk in it.

That’s four hundred and eight gallons of milk.

Yes, 408. I didn’t stutter. That’s twenty gallons per trip.

It is the quite a work out.

The picture I create while moving these totes is comical. Because the totes obviously weigh several times my weight, I have to rock the totes to get the dolly under them. Then I have do this awkward jumping while rocking the totes again to get the dolly to lean back on its wheels. This process usual consists of me getting my fingers pinched, but I am none the worse for wear.

Once I have the dolly leaned on its wheels I have to maneuver it into the cooler. So away I go weaving back and forth, trying to hold up under the load praying I don’t run into a customer.

Well I should have been looking out for the cooler shelving instead of customers.

As I staggered into the cooler with my third load of milk I catch the edge of a tote on bottom of the energy drink shelving.

In slow the motion I watch as twenty gallons of milk topple.

I was in even slower motion as a lake of 1% Nature’s Touch milk is made in the cooler.

There are still eighty seven totes left.

Groan. This is not what I meant when I wrote Embracing My Clumsiness.

But am I surprised this unfortunate event happened to me?


I actually expected it. I mean come on? You should have known, me trying to haul even two totes of milk could be dangerous.

That’s why I can’t cry over spilled milk.

Happy New Year’s!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Blogger’s Block

I am at a loss for words. For the first time since September, I have no clue what to blog about. Well, there are several things I could blog about, but I really like to produce writing that my followers will find funny, compelling, or just plain interesting.

I could blog about the Cowboys as the hubby insists, but between you and me, the Cowboys and I only associate with each other become my husband insists.  And because they are breaking his heart this season, I am here to pick up the pieces.

I could blog about Darren, but it is not much fun writing about him when he is gone  (Missing the Little Man). Yep, I did forget to mention that because our daycare provider is out for the holidays, my little man is staying with the hubby’s mom for the next few days. We are supposed to pick him up at the end of the week, but predictably Minnesota weather is pulling out all the stops for the ninth winter storm of the season. The forecast is twenty inches plus freezing rain.


 But I promised I wouldn’t complain about the weather any more. (Winter Gripes)

I could blog (make fun of) about the hubby, but at this point he is getting on my last nerve. I wish I could blame my irritation on a specific situation, but after much thinking it just because he is a guy. Ladies you know what I mean.

I could blog about my family. I really want to blog about my family, but I refuse to hash out the ridiculous drama that seems to unfold whenever we get together on my public blog.

I could blog about my new camera (I heart it!), and how I am trying to start up my new photography business: ID Photography. This is something I am excited and completely overwhelmed with. I have been brainstorming on how to bring in clients to build my portfolio. So if you live in southern Minnesota give send me email at I have free sessions available to all who are interested.

I know its shameless plug, but I need to get my hustle on.  Sue me.

No really, don’t.

Just let me take your photos.


And check out my Facebook page. I.D. Photography.

Another shameless plug. Sorry.

On that note I’ve decided to blog about my blog, which also has a Facebook page. The Hip Hop Life. Like it if you like my blog.

Another shameless plug. I have no shame. Shame on me.

This is what happens when I have blogger’s block. Shaking my head at myself. Shame on me.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Reality Birth Control

I love family. 

Anyone who really knows me knows I love family time and family always comes first.

But there are other reasons they are important.

They are my reality birth control. 

Before you get all confused let me explain. 

It’s become tradition that we end up spending the Christmas holiday with the hubby’s family and my foster family. No matter how long we are with them, whether it is two days or ten, we always come away with feeling relaxed but a bit skeptical about our roles as parents.

This is because of all the rascals we come into contact with.

Yes, I call them rascals. Because they are always up to something, being bad, pulling at your heart strings, or simply driving you bonkers. Let me spread the story of holiday cheer called children.

First there is Monkey Face. My foster parents first born daughter. Always perpetually in motion, by no means is this bad thing but she is the clumsiest child I know. If you have never seen a person trip on air, you need to meet this girl; she has mastered it.  At the age of five (I think J) she is also the most insightful child I know. 

Being a child she still slurps her juice for two minutes at the dinner table not noticing the noise is comparable to chalk screeching on a black board to an adult. But what took the cake was our conversation as we settled in the pew for the Christmas Eve service.

“Brittany, why is D**** not here?” She whispers this because she knows she’s not suppose to talk a lot in church.

“He had some other things planned for tonight.”

“But he needs to be here. Church is important,” she insists sternly.

I am at a loss for words. Not to throw the hubby under the bus, the child has a point. 

“I know sweetie. I will let him know you say so.” This seems to satisfy her because she gives me a firm nod, sits back and picks up her program.

Yeah. Completely floored.

Then there’s The Boss. Mr. Self Assured. The Boss is the hubby’s nephew. This boy has an older brother, but it’s definitely him that does the bullying in their relationship. He acts hard like a gangsta when he needs to and is caring, mischievous, ruff little boy when he doesn’t. I would repeat full convos of him threatening to punch someone in the neck if they didn’t leave him alone, but that would make him seem less than the angel he is.

The Boss’s softer side emerges when his cousin Darren is around and he insists on feeding him, wiping his nose, directing you on how to change his diaper, and most of all giving his little cuzo hugs when he cries.

But beware of boys they always have something up their sleeves. 

The Boss: “Hey Brittany.”

Me: “Yeah?”

The Boss: “You see all those presents under the tree?”

Me: “Yeah, there are a lot of them.”

The Boss rests his chin on my knee and looks up at me with big eyes and a cheesy smile. “I can open them for you!”  

At that point I had suppress my urge to laugh and tell him no, he could not open his presents before Christmas.

The stories don’t end there. I could fill your ears with stories of a boy who wouldn’t keep his clothes on, and another little girl who can switch the charm on an off, but that would take too long and I still have to talk about my little monster. 

Darren finally found something that made him master the art of crawling.

(Yep, you heard me. HE’S CRAWLING!! )

That things is a red remote control sports car operated by The Boss. 

If a crawling baby isn’t momentary birth control. I don’t know what is.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Make Sure to take the Time

Last night I had another dream.

This dream unlike the last one was not about me having a baby, but instead it was about a baby girl, more specifically it was about her mother (HLHS Mommy).

In my dream it was Christmas. HLHS Mommy was wearing red and her blonde hair was shining. She was smiling, but she was crying. She was clasping my hands.

That’s all I remember.

HLHS Mommy gave birth to the first baby girl born in Mankato in 2010.  Her baby girl lived for thirteen days. 


I remember this time last year. Though we weren’t extremely close, we had common ground. We had mutual friends, we went to the same college and most importantly, we were both pregnant expecting our first child.

HLHS Mommy updated everyone on Facebook on the status of her due date.

Finally her baby girl came.


As she explained it in a newspaper article, that first day was stressful. A lot of visitors. From what the night turned into, the next thirteen days were monstrous.

It turned out that her baby girl was born with HLHS. Hypoplastic Left-Heart Syndrome. Simple description to a major medical condition; she was born with only three chambers in her heart.


Lately, I have been thinking of HLHS Mommy a lot. I’ve praying for her a lot, asking God to revitalize her strength as she celebrates her daughter’s firsts. Especially her first Christmas, her first birthday, and the first year from her baby’s passing.

I remember attending the visitation and the funeral. Being pregnant myself, I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know if I should go.

I mean how would you feel if you had just lost your first child and you see someone who is holding your dream in her hands?

In the end I went. I even talked with HLHS Mommy for a while.

“Make sure you take the time.” Is what she told me.

I remembered that.

One of the ways HLHS Mommy decided to cope with her daughter’s death was to blog. First, it was an open blog, and then she turned in private.

Reading how she put her darkest moments into words, turned something in me. To be completely honest, this woman is the reason I started my blog.

She also started the first Minnesota chapter for the non-profit organization It’s My Heart. On top of working and organizing several charity events.

Pretty darn amazing if you ask me.

So this Christmas and in the New Year: “Make sure you take the time.”

Make time to spend with your family, whatever the situation. That little time you have is better than no time.
If it is the one thing HLHS Mommy taught me it is that. Because those few moments may change your life forever, may give you more perspective, and give unbounded amounts of motivation.

Make time to pray. Pray for those who have lost loved ones. Those who will miss them dearly over the holidays.

Make time to Praise. Through her struggles of the last year HLHS Mommy has been the epitome of faith. She is steadfast, doubtful, fulfilled, lost, blessed, and most of all a believer.

“But this is not all about me, is it? God is at work in all that has happened since Hazel’s birth, and I try to stay focused on that. But sometimes I let my selfish nature take over...”

Thank you HLHS Mommy, your angel changed my life.

God Bless. Merry Christmas. 

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Art of Running Game

“I don’t care, Darren is definitely going to learn how to plan piano.” The hubby announced after watching a Bruno Mars video.

“Why is that? So he can get all the girls?” I ask rolling my eyes.

“Ya damn right.” He says with his signature grin.
It’s because of that smile I know he’s serious. The hubby has a fabulous smile this combined with his fun personality really puts me at disadvantage in the ‘game running’ category.  He’s good at it. Ask my friends. It took one of my girlfriends and me two weeks to realize that he had talked us into going halfsies on a pair of shoes for him. Yeah. Unbelievable.
When confronted about it he just smiled that smile and said “It worked didn’t it?”

It’s because of that smile I am beginning to worry. Because the Darren uses that same smile on me that his daddy does. As you can see.(above)

But this is what the situation usually entails: me, what looks to be a tasty morsel of food, and Darren. While he has now learned (kind of) no to screech at me if he want a taste of something, he has come up with other ways of getting that fetching morsel of food.

Like his eyes. Take a look at them.

Can you see what I would cave? He also has a way of staring intently at you when you have food too. It’s like he’s telepathically willing you to give him what you’ve got.  It is quite funny because he won’t scream or reach out for it. He’ll just stare. 

And stare some more.

And more.

Until you give it to him. Not because you want him to stop, but just because. It is quite crazy. Because a few minutes after giving to him u get this strange feeling that you’ve been intellectually scammed out of something very important. 

But I guess that is the art of running game. 

I guess.

 I am still working the concept of “running game” out in my head. It’s a guy thing.

I think. I just don’t know though.

Again, I guess that is the art of running game.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Winter Gripes

Ok. I know that I shouldn’t be allowed to do this, being from Minnesota and everything, but I am going to go there. I need to get it out of my system. Just this one time.

Winter sucks. It doesn’t suck when you are sitting inside your cozy home watching the picturesque snowflakes falling slowly outside your window. You know the type I am talking about, the ones that bring the real Christmas cheer. 

But it does suck when over a foot of snow is dumped on you in a less than a week and you live out in the country on a back road that they plow once after every snow fall and you work forty five minutes away which makes traveling difficult, and the negative sixteen degree weather makes your son’s nasal cavity stuff up so you listen to him and your hubby snore at night.  

Not to mention that the snow made the Metrodome’s roof collapse and tear twice in roughly four days, which threw the sports community of Minnesota into complete mayhem.

Not to mention the horrible drivers that live in Minnesota that think they’re wonderful drivers because they drive in harsh conditions every year. Honestly, when a snow storm hits you could easily believe Minnesota was Florida if it weren’t for the fifty mile per hour winds blowing eight inches of snow everywhere. Seriously.
Hazardous snow driving tip #1: if you have four-wheel drive, use it. 

Hazardous snow driving tip #2: because you have four-wheel drive does not mean you can drive the normal speed limit. It just means that you should have a less likely chance of sliding your way into a ditch. If you’re smart.

A tip for driving on ice: just because it is sunny out and temps have reached above zero, still drive like a sane logical human being. It’s ice, it’s slippery, and it still zero degrees outs. That means the ice is still frozen. Jeez.
I know this is a rant and I wish I were done, but I am not.

Because I always seem to kill animals when the weather is bad.

You think I am kidding you. (Raccoon Killer).

Today is no exception. 

Today I killed a cat.

Pretty sure it was a fluffy orangey domesticated cat. It paused before it made the fateful decision to race across the still icy, but snow dusted back country road that rarely get plowed. 

Now, had this been a regular day I would have slammed on my breaks and this kitty would have crossed to the other side safely. 

But today was not regular. It literally has been snowing since last night. LAST NIGHT. And three days ago it rained a lot before it snowed and the roads are so icy.

Had this kitty know this, it would have stayed inside. And  I wouldn’t have let a curse word fly threw my thoughts as I decided to not step on the breaks and roll my Jeep which was carrying me and my precious sleeping son.

But always leave it to the hubby to make me feel better.
“So babe, I am pretty sure I killed a cat today.” I say this with a pained look on my face.

He looks at me sympathetically and shrugs, “It happens. Don’t feel bad.”

“Not this was like a fluffy domesticated cat.”

“Well I almost hit a dog last week. It was definitely a house dog.” I listen intently to his story, but the look on my face isn’t cutting it.

 “And I almost hit several pheasants this morning.” He adds on.

“That doesn’t count, they’re wild. This was a cat.” I say dubiously.

“It’s okay.” He repeats. “It happens.” That was the extent of his sympathy. 

Dang these Minnesota winters, and dang these snows storms. (But I can't lie I did come out of it all with some pretty good photos.)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Baby Dreams

I had a dream about having a baby last night. 

It was about literally ‘having’ a baby.

But not in the normal way.

There I am just driving over Belgrade Bridge in Mankato. And I think to myself: “I wish I were pregnant.” Then BAM, I am pregos. Next thought: “I haven’t felt the baby move in a while.” The next thing you know I feel that odd bulging feeling you get when you have a baby inside you. How I went from wishing I was pregnant to a baby moving inside, I don’t know. All I know is it took two seconds.

As I sit there enjoying my baby girl (intuition told me it was a girl) moving in my womb, I realize there is something wrong. I look down and the imprint of a foot is pushing my coat way from my body! I pull over and rip my coat open where I find a baby foot protruding from my belly button.

Yes I said it. MY BELLY BUTTON!!

Not only is this baby’s foot coming out of my belly button, but the rest of her body is coming out too! By this point I am freaking out and covered in gooey stuff. I literally watch as my second born child is born breech style from my midsection. Seconds later she is wrapped in my coat looking at me with huge eyes as I am trembling uncontrollably.

Doing the only sensible thing I can think of, I drive myself to the hospital. Or I thought it was suppose to be a hospital, but it was more like an office. Yep. An office. With cubicles and everything. The even weirder thing is that they are all nurses and doctors. And they are all rushing around. 

There I stand hold my newborn. I just stand there not saying anything. Then a male nurse (why I remember that he is male is beyond me) starts rushing towards me. And then I faint.

And wake up. (in my dream)

And the nurses are working on my baby. While I start yelling. ‘She came from my belly.” 

The nurse. “We know sweetheart. You’re baby will be just fine.”

“No, not my belly. SHE CAME FROM MY BELLY BUTTON!!!” 

The nurse does a double take and pulls my coat off my baby.

“Sweetheart. This isn’t a she. IT’S A BOY!!!”

Then I wake up, for real.

And recall the whole dream over again.

I shake my head and mutter. “I swear it was a girl.”